dad and mum , you both disappointed me .
Monday, September 12, 2005@ 4:45 PM by DRUSILLA CHOO
i just had a tiff wid my mum , it was the most serious one ever .
guess im really disappointedd that even when im typing now , i just cant hold bac my tears.
it all started when she saw my report book on her table which i had put fer her to sign .
i admit , i didnt do well this time round , perhaps the worst results fer my life . but i did study . why do you alwas think i didnt ? why cant you just understand me ? dont you know its not easy studying , im trying my best too . if i would be less bothered bout my studies , i wouldnt haf been sitting down here trying to get betta in my a maths , i would haf just gone to sleep , im so tired today cus i slept around 3 last night , yet i still carry on .
my mum said she want to take me off from skool , go ahead if you can . i bet you wouldnt do it , and so what if you did ? you think i wanted to study ? everyone said studying is ferr your own future , but let me tell you , i study ferr my parents sake . i believe that even widout degree in the future , i still can find a job in this society .
you are a biase mum ! the most ever . you can actually ignore when my eldest sista just simply start rattling , or even talk to you at a loud voice . how bout me ? im just standing up ferr my own rights , yet you simply yelled at me bac , is this fair ? you even wanted to drive me out of this house in the middle of the night ? i really almost wanted to take my things and leave since my mum doesnt want me in this house .
my sistas said i never study , i play com always , why whatever they said u believed them ? how bout me ? you never had trust in me ! yes , i on the com , but im studying in front of it , just wanted to listen to music , cant i ?i cancelled my tuition , its all because you cannot afford it , i wanted to save money ferr you . i told you i will try and see if i could score well this time round widout a teacher , i didnt guarantee you i would score well .
complain to my dad , ask him to beat me , you alwas use this to threaten me . i bet you will just blabber out whatever i did to him in an even more exaggerating way , and you will say as if im the worsest child on earth ever . so that my dad will give me a good thrashing .
even when i go out , i spend many hours outside , its cus im working ! you didnt know , dont you realise i seldom ask from you money now ? even i paid my own neccessities ! after work i meet my friends to study , but i admit we dun end up studying much .you think i alwas hang out wid friends who smoke , who are bad companies ?im a grown up ! i know how to differentiate between gd people and bad people .
the best thing of all , when i lost my previous fone , you tot i took it to sell so that i can gif money to my friends to buy the cigarettes ferr them ! im not that bad , why shld i lie to you over such things , this is my first time losing a fone eversince sec 1 . yes , im a very careless girl , but can you imagine i only lost my fone once because im so extra careful wid my fone , i dont want to be like my sista who lost her fone 3 times ! she lost her fone once , you gave her another , but when i lost my fone once , you never gave me a fone again . once is considered a gd thing cus i've lost my wallet uncountable times .
in your eyes , im alwas the lousiest child , stupidest child , naughtiest child , everything bad will be on my name . and in the past when you all meet up wid my cousins and aunts , you started saying how bad am i , telling others i will fail my PSLE and all these .
You all just simply look down on me .when i get achievement , you all never bother to praise me , but when i did something bad , you all just started scolding me . i dont need your praise , i just want you all to show me you all care ferr me , is that too much ?
im trying my very best to make you all happy . im not late anymore !
totally disappointed-
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